For Audrey, with love

It’s Cat here, Audrey’s daughter. It has taken me some time for me to sit down and write Audrey’s last blog, something I have said to my dad Andrew and brother Chris, that I’ve wanted to do since she passed away. We knew she would want to say a proper goodbye after she was taken so quickly last year. There was really no time for her to process and express what her quick progression of her cancer meant for her and her loved ones (of which there are too many to name). What is important for her after many (documented through this wonderful blog) years aboard her rollercoaster of health, was that she died peacefully with family at her side. We sang songs to her - thankfully she was good at telling us her favourites over the years – and held her hands when she passed away. In life and in death, she knew how much she was loved.

For all of you who were able to attend her funeral, and to those of you who joined online or sat in quiet reflection of Audrey and what she meant to you that day, thank you. Everyone’s generous giving to St Columbas Hospice, a charity so dear to her, in her memory will help so many others. It was a very special service, delivered by her dear friend Sheila. Andrew has watched the funeral online since the day and expressed what an amazing job Sheila did. We truly are eternally grateful. I wanted to share the music we played at her funeral, we think she would have approved, and I invite you to listen to these songs and think of her when the time is right for you. We welcomed Audrey to Joni Mitchell’s ‘Both Sides Now’. We watched photos celebrating Audrey’s life to Karine Polwart’s ‘Daisy’ and sang together in ‘Caledonia’. We paused in our grief to Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye’, and left to King Creosote’s ‘Favourite Girl’. Audrey loved music, from happy to melancholic, and we hope she would have approved of these choices and how the words meant something to us. The 4th of February was Audrey’s birthday, her special day. She would have turned 69. Audrey loved birthdays, how they brought people together in love, celebration and the pop of the prosecco. While she wasn’t a lover of being in the centre of the limelight, particularly in her 60th year, she indulged in year-round celebration, and an in joke was every time we raised a glass that year, we’d say ‘Happy Birthday Audrey!’ - we still do this now. Andrew came up with a beautiful idea to mark Audrey’s passing and arranged a leaf for her on The Hope Tree at Edinburgh’s Botanic Gardens. It was up just in time for her birthday. As her leaf says, this place was her heaven. So special a place to her, this is where we held her celebration of life after the funeral, so now it is an even more special place to all who knew and loved her. You can see her leaf on the tree in the West Gate entrance, and it will be on display in remembrance forever. We hope this can be a place to visit and feel close to her. I am sure Audrey would say that Andy is a man of great ideas, and this was one of his finest. Audrey has left a wonderful legacy, and a lifetime ambition of hers was realised in 2024 when she self-published her book ‘A Journey to Better Times’. Quietly determined, she worked on this book, sharing her story, insights, fears and vulnerabilities. One of her books joined her on her coffin, we could not be prouder of this legacy she has left. Writing was a great comfort to Audrey, in her book, and in her poetry, and Sheila read her poem ‘Journey to now’, which opens her book, at the funeral. Following this poem, Chris gave tribute at her funeral, and we were blown away with how he did, she would have burst with pride. Audrey handed on a gift of a way with words, and speaking and writing to Chris, and we could not have been happier with the tribute he paid to her. I have read back on her blog in preparation for sharing final thoughts here and feel she wouldn’t forgive an opportunity to plug her legacy! Here’s a link to the book to buy and it’s also available on kindle Andrew was incredibly proud to hear from Audrey’s friends the Alliance (Health and Social Care Alliance Scotland) in the new year, a charity Audrey co-founded, and who hosted her book launch last year, seeking permission to rename an award at their annual award ceremony. The Alliance proposed a dedication to her by way of ‘The Audrey Birt Self Management Champion’ award. She would have been very moved, and humbled to be given this honour, and it is a beautiful way for her name to live on. Audrey gave her life’s work to nursing and improving health and social care for people in Scotland, and this is an honour very fitting to her and all she achieved.

In her book and blog, and social media, Audrey wrote about her pets, and their importance in her life. She shared that after Cara their beloved dog died, Koshka the cat became a lap cat, much to her amazement and utter joy every time (sometimes with the encouragement of her cheese) he jumped up on her lap for a cuddle! Well, I am pleased to share Koshka continues in this loving mood, choosing Andrew’s lap (and his electric blanket) over anywhere else to rest. Audrey would be so comforted to know this display of love and companionship lives on between them. For Audrey’s family and friends, we take comfort in each other’s company and remembering her in all we do. It is painful, and will always feel painful, that new milestones and experiences in life with come without her there. But her memory is alive and ever present in all the hearts she touched. Really, I wanted to use her platform to say a proper goodbye to her friends and readers, an opportunity that she sadly couldn’t have. I want to thank our family and friends for their enduring support as we collectively grieve her passing. She was the best wife, mum, sister, aunty, cousin, friend, colleague and super granny we all could have ever wished for. For one final message, I took her own words from the last blog she wrote, ‘Thank you, Andrew, with all my heart’. Rest in peace Audrey - 04/02/1956 – 06/08/2024