What a week this has been. I have been to a beautiful wedding on the banks of Loch Lomond, I have been part of the Windsor Leadership Dialogue in St George’s chapel within the grounds of Windsor Castle, I have spent two days in our London office and now I am back in Edinburgh. And yes you’ve guessed it….. I am truly knackered! Not a very lady like term but frankly exhausted just didn’t cut it.
Its been an interesting journey for me. I have realised just how tired I still am and although much better than I was still not quite there yet. The clamour of airports, train and tube travel, hotel rooms just felt too much at times. I think its part of the same impact that stops me watching TV, listening to the radio and to music too much, my brain is just too tired. The reminder I am not just healing physically but mentally too. The screensaver on my phone is the scene of the mountains from our balcony on holiday and I look longingly at it whenever I can.
Waiting for my delayed flight yesterday-which meant I wasn’t home till 11 pm I had a moment of airport rage. As I went through security setting off the beep, the security officer barked “shoes off” at me and before I could even bend to do this he shouted it again. I drew myself up to my full 5ft 3 ( nearly) inches and suggest he try “please” in the future and reminded him I wasn’t a dog (not that that would be an acceptable tone for a dog either, I know). I realised I was about to lose it so sat down in a chair and took deep breaths .I checked my watch and indeed it was wine o’clock so there was nothing else for it. So I am thinking of designing a t-shirt that says-“I haven’t been well you know” the purpose would be to alert all who try to push me over in the tube, get in front of me in the queue, bark at me in the airport, send me annoying emails etc etc that I may be small but I am on a short fuse! You have been warned!
I have also realised that some of my strength is returning and I am now committed to do our Perthshire Trek in September.( PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN TO BREAST CANCER Sept 10-11) I would love to see you there if you want to do it with me. I will keep you posted on my progress and please do encourage me anyway you can-frankly I am going to need it but I think the challenge will help my confidence return-honest.
Tomorrow I have an appointment to see the breast care nurse. It’s the first time I have been at the hospital for few weeks and I guess its going to feel a bit strange. It will be good to talk over how I am and some thoughts I have had about any further surgery. It feels important to have this time and I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to do this. Breast care nurses and other specialist nurses play such an important part in supporting people not only after surgery but also in adjusting to life going forward. We need to ensure that in these days of budgetary constraints their valuable work is not lost.
So reasons to be cheerful are plentiful. Time with good friends at the wedding in such a wonderful setting was great.And seeing a young man you have seen grow up look so happy alongside his new wife was just wonderful. Also time with new friends in Windsor exploring how to be the best leader I can be was as ever inspiring and restoring too-a really special combination for me at this time especially. And time with the team Breakthrough in London was just great.Our recent awards for fundraising campaigns and the new media award for our ibreastcheck app has been a super acknowledgment of the great work of a truly fab bunch of people from trustees, to all the teams across Breakthrough to our amazing volunteers. Its an honour to work alongside such passion, commitment and talent. Now as soon I have caught up with my sleep I will get those walking sandals on……honest.