Morph suits, Marvels and finding the X factor.

The sun is shining today and it’s also the day of the Great Scottish Run in Glasgow. Professor Mike Dixon who is clinical lead of the Breakthrough Research Unit in Edinburgh and hero of many (including me!) is running the run to race funds for Breakthrough Breast Cancer. And not only that but he is accompanied by Mike’s Marvels another 20 plus runners who are joining him. They all have reasons to be grateful to Mike and what a super way to show it. And they aren’t the only marvels either- several of the Breakthrough Scotland team will be there with him running…and we are talking dressing up here. One of them is wearing a very pink Morph suit……..I know that’s brave any where but it starts in Glasgow Green. I hope there is police protection-but no arrests!

The morph suit sadly is not on brand. It’s the wrong shade of pink you see. Having mentioned that on twitter my colleague then received a tweet from a company in the US saying they made such suits in magenta-too late for him to get the brand colour on time but if we ever want to make it the corporate uniform we know where to go….The tale of him practicing running in it the other evening-by a local school and police station was hilarious and just a wee bit worrying too. It did make my cough worse for a time but frankly it was worth it.

So I am back to work again. Feeling a bit embarrassed that I have been ill again. Its given me some time to reflect on why and I know really its because I haven’t given myself sufficient time to recover. I think my mantra of “this won’t kill me, its very early stage and I will be fine” has probably stopped my giving the experience the respect it’s needed. Admitting that makes me feel a bit stupid given my role-you might say I feel a pashmina short of wardrobe (thank you “Miranda” now that’s what I like to call funny!) but I guess that’s another condition I am not immune to! I also know I am not alone with feeling this way. Perhaps we need to get better at guiding people through these experiences-so cancer rehabilitation properly resourced and prioritised becomes the norm for people not just the lucky few. And of course a cancer experience never sits alone- I moved house less than a year ago, have extended the house and it’s a very busy job I do. And one that I love, working alongside great people-so I really don’t want to be off. But I know I need to look after myself better and I am working on that. So I haven’t joined them at the run and I wont be doing any long distance walks this year, I will minimise my travel and hopefully at some stage manage a break that isn’t really sick leave in disguise……and I will build in some more relaxing and meditation time. One of my colleagues suggested they could sponsor me to stay in my bed…seriously tempting idea too! I have booked a trip to my daughter’s at the end of the month and I am really looking forward to that.

This week finds me returning to the GP and going to the breast clinic too. Both occasions will remind me of my fragility. Visits to the breast clinic are always those occasions when you return to the emotions and you can touch the atmosphere in the waiting room. I guess that’s one of the reasons the waiting rooms and follow up appointments are often a focus in the Breakthrough Service Pledge. Patient experience feedback reminds us that all of the cancer experience impacts on your well-being.  And I am aware that any further surgery is really not an option this year-I am just not strong enough just now. But luckily I don’t need to rush that decision. It will be good to have an opportunity to talk it through. I will let you know how it goes.

Reasons to be cheerful are going to the Fireworks that herald the end of the festival tonight. The backdrop of the castle and the display set to the music of the Scottish Chamber orchestra is quite magical. And also the Edinburgh citizens get their city back too.( I wont mention the trams-too painful!)

OK I will also admit to a guilty secret- I am watching the x-factor and am just a bit smitten by Gary Barlow. I haven’t ever bought a Take That album but I find him warm, knowledgeable, gently funny and kind-now that’s the x-factor for me….and he’s kinda cute too! Enough!