Saturday 31 October 2020

A Grannie Rocket?




 A side effect of spending time at home is seeing what might be done in the house with some investment. From being a young adult in our first home we’ve always prioritised holidays over home improvements. And being busy with work and life and children etc I have always been easily distracted from what needed done. Even when we could only scrape enough money to pay the essentials we would still rather pack up a tent and head off. Also spending time with family was and is always the priority. So  redesigning dining rooms for example could always wait.

Until this year. 2020. 

Who knew what you could achieve with time, energy and money saved by sitting at home. So we’ve had a lot of boxes arrive, redecorating to arrange, cushions to chose and we have a completely different room. I’m delighted with it. Cara especially likes to lie on the sofa while I’m working at the table. It feels so bright and yet comfortable. The sofa becomes a bed if you want it too and at times I’ve needed to know I didn’t have to climb the stairs when I’m most in pain. 

My pain has been worse of late. I’m sure the added stress of the resurgent virus and the loss of not seeing and holding family is part of this too. Pain is a complex mix of the physical , mental and social context and who could pretend that any of those is ideal just now. 

So our final investment is a stairlift. I’ve given in to my need but to say I resent it would be to understate the situation. The cost of over £4,000 is the worst part. I know I need to love it now but that’s a big stretch for me. I do love not being anxious and in pain every night when I go to bed. I have also regained some mobility around the house. 

Koshka the cat is horrified by it, a machine too far for his cosy life. By contrast I’m sure Cara would get on it, if it got her to our comfy bed when we are not looking! My son suggested to his son that Grannie has got a rocket. A Grannie rocket! I have no doubt it will be a source of endless entertainment for Davie. Maybe someone can love it! A friend suggested pimping it up. Suggestions are welcome.....

I have got through breast cancer awareness month without thinking much about it or buying something pink. I just couldn’t open that box of fears which has been safely tucked away of late. We lost another friend to breast and ovarian cancer just recently. She had such a terrible year but held on to life. Her nails painted and ever glamorous at least for the outside world. She was so kind and welcoming to me 40 years ago when we met. She and her husband died within a month of each other. We’ve been grieving for them both. The rules of the pandemic have destroyed our rituals for grief and saying goodbye. We need new ones and we epspcially need human connection. I’m missing that so much.

I’m not sad to see the back of October. But what will November bring? 


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