Saturday, 19 March 2022

Wabbit and crabbit…


Recently our grandson had to come home from nursery early. He’d had vaccinations and h temperature was up. He announced as he walked back in the door….”I’m ok, I’m just a wee bit wabbit.” My heart melted with this announcement. Partly because wabbit spoke to how I feel too -the perfect word. As well as delight at his use of the Scot’s word. It was the reminder too of how Scots permeates our day to day language and how uplifting ( and very cute) it was to hear him use it. We’re a land of many languages- reflecting the many influences on our island nation. He may even learn Gaelic in the future, it’s a language taught in his future school, something I could never even have contemplated for my children or for me as a child. 

In a time when we are seeing a sovereign nation ( Ukraine) being violently invaded by Russia, ripping out it’s very core , its made me grieve deeply for the people and it’s touched that Scots part of me that feels an affinity to a country that was finding its feet as a culture again and scared by how fragile that now seems. 

I wonder if it’s true for nations, as it is for people, that we can never truly love others until we love ourselves. The Scotland I grew up in was not one that loved itself or it’s heritage, frankly we didn’t know much about it. At school we learned nothing of our history, our literature, our music and were criticised and even punished for not speaking English. That’s hard to believe now as so much of our culture is re-emerging and the “Scottish Cringe” is becoming less evident. A friend brought my attention to a Proclaimers song called Scotland’s Story. It really moved me, as an island nation we are a wonderful mixture of not only the countries of the UK but from across Europe and beyond. The song lists the many folk who make up our land, including Ukraine. “We’re all Scotland story and we’re all just the same” such a powerful message to all who want to call this place home. 

As a family we have applied to house refugees ( I know…..are we crazy, we’ve so many challenges with our health but we need to help and we’ve a warm homes and big hearts). I welcome that the Scottish government have an arrangement as super sponsors working with the UK government scheme “Our hearts were already open – now our doors are too,” Nicola Sturgeon said. This includes information for Ukrainians who want to come to Scotland for refuge and how they can now choose that option. I do hope so many are able to be helped. Not just the Scots but the British peoples hearts are much more open than the governments processes are I’m deeply sorry to say so we all must do what we can to have our voices heard and get visas waived for now. 

And in other news, I’ve more surgery to face next week. A biopsy has shown a  small but cancerous tumour in my breast. It showed on CT which was reported after my first operation. It’s another triple negative tumour but different to the earlier one. Prof Dixon has never known this before. I have no words! My brain keeps trying to make sense but fails. And with other health things in the mix I’m feeling overwhelmed and my body battered adjusting to the medication for, recently diagnosed, inflammatory arthritis- likely rheumatoid. So my outward appearance maybe reasonably calm but it’s a swan like performance. And there is a bit of me that feels like a Munch painting. 

You know the one! But the intramuscular steroid injection has helped a little with generalised pain and mobility which is so very welcome…I’m taking that as a win! 

And the sun is out this weekend and I plan to get out and about whilst isolating before my operation. Covid is everywhere here, how on earth can I avoid it and remain sane at least until my surgery on Thursday? 

Wish me luck….

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