Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Are Percy Pigs the answer?
I wanted to update my blog one week on from my surgery. Is it just a week? And I want to be honest about where this week finds me. As advised I have planned to have 8 weeks convalescence and at times I have thought ;" 8 weeks , I laugh in the face of eight weeks to get better". And then again I have also thought, that's one week gone already ,"HELP!" So I guess the truth varies. Some of my bruising is better but it's still coming out and travelling too. It's long trousers and roll neck sweaters for me if I don't want it to be seen. Perhaps what I have struggled with most is probably the result of a long anaesthetic. I still feel waves of fatigue and fairly queasy at times. Worst of all has been a three day migraine. It's a result of disruption, tiredness and stress I expect. I have tried everything. My migraine treatment works for a while but it's not stopping it. So here's the list of what else I am trying: paracetamol ( pah!) , lots of water (?), rest, mindfulness, Leonard Cohen on the iPod, a marathon watching of "The Killing" and Percy Pigs. I suspect the resting, mindfulness and the wonderful Mr Cohen are the most helpful. But the last two items are just to say that cute sweets and distraction may not be a cure but hey I need some "fun" in life. My next dilemma is washing my hair. My only trip beyond the door has been to get my hair washed and dried for me. You see I may be in my 50's but I have long hair. My hairdresser reassures me that so long as it suits you , it's no longer an unwritten rule that older women should not have long hair. When I reached 50 I realised it was the decade I didn't think I would have. That wasn't a conscious thought before then at all but once I realised it, I also thought I would not allow myself to self limit. So amongst other things I challenged myself to do, I grew my hair longer. Now I know long hair is a small rebellion but it was symbolic for me. Consequently I was deeply relieved not to have needed chemotherapy and it's associated hair loss at my recent diagnosis .I was preparing Braveheart style speeches of "you can take my breast but you can't take my hair variety"just in case. I know it sounds mad but I also know hair loss for many people is the final straw in the indignity and distress caused by a cancer diagnosis. So I am trying to forgive myself that one. Reasons to be cheerful. I had a lovely , if quiet family time over Easter. I still can't find the energy and concentration to read books so I have been looking at blogs and newspapers etc. One such blog is from the May Isle in the Firth of Forth. The puffins are back and the images of them , nesting sea birds and sparkling spring flowers are food for the soul. Also I have a house full of flowers from my family. Wonderful!