Thursday, 9 August 2012

In search of mojo......

Two weeks in and its an ongoing search for the elusive mojo. But precious time with family, relaxation and time just to be ,is working some magic.  The days are lazy and evenings star filled, with some Olympics thrown in! In fact we have worked out how to sit outside and watch Olympics through a patio door as its so warm. Yes you guessed I am not in Scotland but rural Bulgaria, a very beautiful unspoiled part of the world. Our small house looks out to the Rila mountains and as I write a fine storm is rattling around the valley. Jacko the shepherds dog is a frequent visitor and is waiting at the door in the hope we will break our resolve and we will let him in because of the rain. Soft I may be but I haven’t lost my sense of smell…..so that would be a no my friend! As I mentioned last year Jacko has had one too few visits to  the poodle parlour and too many days shared with the sheep. A deep breath and you too could smell him I am sure!

But even if wet smelly dog is a step way too far , the rain is welcome. Its very barren here thanks to a very hot summer. The last week has seen temperatures of over 40 degrees. What I have really realised is how simple life becomes at these temperatures; the most important focus becomes access to water,  shade and a cool breeze. So its not party central as you will have guessed but a real chance to recharge and reassess the important things in life.

So I have mindfully taken in the views, listened to bird song and relaxed with those I love. And as give in to the different rhythms of life here it helps me also think about my own priorities and plans for the months ahead. A friend helpfully described recently that one of the benefits of the deep fatigue that illness and treatment can bring is enabling you to recognise what and who is important to you. And perhaps as important who and what you can let go of. Who and what does or doesn’t help you thrive as you need to, who and what makes your heart sink rather than sing, and who will always or never be there when you need them? A small consolation maybe but a valuable one so that you can move forward in your life with the people and things that enable rather than disable. This is so important when your energies are limited.

It does seem rather ironic to get lazier while watching our amazing Olympians. We managed to find somewhere we could both swim and watch Andy Murray in the fantastic rematch with the wonderful Mr Federer. I admit to shedding a tear as Andy won so convincingly and ran off to hug his girlfriend and his Mum. People like Jessica Ennis and Sir Chris Hoy are wonderful role models and if twitter is any reflection there are many bikes and running shoes being dusted off. But I would be lying if I said I was rescuing my lycra from the back of the charity bag.


So many people I know are facing their own personal marathons; be it chemotherapy , surgery, accepting new diagnoses and consequent changes to their life etc. They aren’t Olympic sports, there are no medals to win just long, often arduous months to get through. They too are my heroes, who do this while looking after families, keeping jobs going when possible, running businesses, caring for partners and parents too. So I cant sing your national anthems or present you all with flowers but I salute you all. And remember  don’t try to be heroes without help, after all the athletes did not achieve their success on their own. So surround yourself with your own cheerleaders and coaches to get you through would be today’s best advice.

I recently heard this tale about a friend, herself in the midst of challenging treatment. She apologised to a local shop keeper for forgetting her order, a senior moment she explained. A woman at the back of the queue piped up “ I call them my CRAFT moment”. Craft moment she asked? “ Cannae remember a f****n thing” she explained. It was pure Glasgow! As I return to work next week, following some extreme laziness I fear the odd CRAFT moment myself, be kind to me if you notice any please….
Reasons to be cheerful. The Edinburgh festival is taking over now and while that holds frustrations for locals it is manic and wonderful too. We have friends coming to share it with us too. Excellent!















4 comments:

  1. It sounds like you have chosen a wonderful place to spend some time.
    I'm sure your mojo will find its way back to you when you are ready. E x

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  2. thanks Ellen,it is a special place. its hard to leave but always good to come home too. hope your holidays have been fun, A x

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  3. Great advice to surround yourself with coaches and cheerleaders, Audrey. I've learned to do that throughout all my life ordeals, and believe me, I've had plenty. Love the CRAFT moment comment; it made my morning. xx

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    1. Thanks Jan, I know my default is to try to fix things myself so I too have learned to surround myself with the people who really help me. Re CRAFT, it's priceless! Hope is a good week ahead for you. Ax

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