Monday, 20 October 2014

Dont die wondering

I learned to nurse in Edinburgh. There is nothing quite like the education you receive in life when you work with people at different stages in their lives. Whilst there are many sad times you witness at a very tender age as a student nurse, there is always laughter too. Perhaps it's a human need to find laughter in the face of so much? But I do think when people connect together in times of stress and illness, bonds are quickly formed that allow an honesty to emerge if we let it. In those points of connection be they through tears or laughter, there is a kind of healing.
It was some of the older Edinburgh folk I remember so well. They were an age group when I was young nurse, who had survived so much. Two world wars had robbed them of family, friends and potential life partners. We frequently met elderly unmarried women who lived alone in tenement flats that became their prisons. But many were made of stern stuff, I used to think it was something in the water here that created such feistiness! Of course they had had to survive through hard years alone in straightened circumstances. Many of course had tales to tell and it's one such woman's twinkly eyed response I recalled recently when we chatted together about her past" pit it this way, hen, I'll no die wonderin' " she confided to me.
We giggled and I said good for you! I loved her honesty and sense of mischief. It seemed a good motto for life...don't die wondering about what might have been.I'm not suggesting a life of things that wouldn't pass the "would you tell your mother" test of course but more don't regret not trying something you would love to do.
I'm not one to rush into decisions and I like to look at all the implications but I know also that the final test I like to apply is will I regret not giving it a go. And if the answer is yes, then I find the courage from somewhere to take the next step.
Cara the lurcher
My challenge is I'm hard on myself as I do that and this week I have been reminded of that. I've been in a bit of pain and finally got some help with it. I had tried getting annoyed with myself, pushing to my limits, ignoring it and even had tears of frustration but finally reminded myself of the teaching on the WEL. In the WEL course we reminded that for life to thrive it needs nurturing. To help us really internalise that process we are encouraged to think about how we might treat a plant or a pet to deepen the understanding in ourselves of how to care for our own needs better. So this week I plan to treat myself like a lurcher! I will have regular exercise, rest as much as I can, eat regularly and who knows i might even do what I'm told.......most of the time!
So maybe the motto for my life needs to be ...don't die wondering but be willing to give yourself a break too? I'm aye learning!
a lazy lurcher day

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