Sunday, 15 May 2011

Its not just me.......

When I speak to people about breast cancer as part of my job with Breakthrough breast cancer I often say that breast cancer affects families not just individuals and this has never been more apparent to me than now. This story isn’t just mine its my family and friends and colleagues too.

My husband is a volunteer counsellor and has had to suspend his volunteering meantime. You need emotional capacity for counselling and this experience was using that up. My step daughter has found my news difficult because although she knows its different-it has taken her back to when her Mum died far too young of breast cancer just a few years ago.

 My daughter being away from the family at this time has left her perhaps worrying more than she would if she was here herself. And of course she has always known that the age of my first diagnosis means that she may be at slightly higher risk herself.

For my son its hard too but he can help with a well timed hug or offer to make dinner-but its still impacting on him and his girl friend too. If I could take this away from them all I really would want to. The hardest thing for me is knowing that I cant.

For my Mum I am still her daughter and perhaps the hardest day for me was going to tell her that I needed to have treatment for breast cancer again. Although I have stressed to everyone it is a very early stage, it does require treatment and therefore is significant to all who care about me.   In many respects I think the impact is worse for them than it is for me. In some ways I feel something of a fraud and want to say “ calm down dear”
(to borrow a phrase!)but also recognise how I would feel with the boot on the other foot.

So I guess I have to accept that this has an impact on others, my lovely family, much loved friends and colleagues too. I cant avoid that but I am hugely supported and warmed by all their messages of love and care and this is my way of saying thank you. It is helping me so much. I feel spoiled and hope I can be worthy of itJ

3 comments:

  1. I think knowing that it affects those people, also helps you know that they are there for you. That every step of the way, you have people who care, and who are thinking of you and supporting you whether in spirit or directly in person.

    That amounts to a lot of good will and thought and to a lot of strength. That strength will help pull you through.

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  2. Audrey you are an inspiration to so many people. I will be supporting you every step of the way along this pathway that you now have to follow, so never think you are alone. Take each day at a time and remember the strength and healing power of positive thinking.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  3. Today you kicked my butt! Was feeling tired and dreading going out to train! Read your blog and felt inspired! Wishing you a speedy recovery and hope to see you again soon.
    On behalf of all of the TT Rookies!
    Angela x

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