It's
Father's Day today and I posted a photo on Facebook of my Dad as a young man.
Full of life, starting out in his career in the Royal Navy, with a hint of the
twinkle in his eye that we all remember. He served his time during the Second
World War and saw more than a young man should of death and learned things
about an imperfect world which shaped his politics and in time my own.
He was a
miner when I was born but through my childhood he studied and became a safety
specialist. He taught us (my sister and I; his two daughters), that education
mattered, that we should believe in our ability and that family mattered. He
taught us compassion for others and whatever else I knew, I knew he loved us
all deeply. He was a man quick to give a big hug whenever you needed it. I
still miss those hugs but I see his qualities in all his grandchildren and in
my sister and I. He'd be proud of us all.
I still
find when there are big political moments I want to pick up the phone to him
although he died over 20 years ago. Old habits you see. And this week has been
one of them. I know had he still been here, when he heard of Jo Cox death he
would have cried as I did. He would have loved her unpretentious northern working class roots, her fearless
telling of truth to power and her compassion for others. He would have been
shocked to his core that a man would murder a woman like that. But then he has
not lived through this time when social media has provided a vehicle for such
hatred and vile abuse towards women in public life.
I grew up
thinking all men were like the ones I've been so lucky to share my life with.
It still shocks me profoundly to realise how different some men are with regard
to women.
I do
realise that Jo Cox murder is a complex set of circumstance and that male MPs
get horrible abuse too but I don't think we should not lose sight of the fact
this was a violent act by a man against a woman; a woman who dared to be in a
position of power. This EU referendum campaign has been increasingly
unpleasant, with a ramping up of fear and anti-immigration rhetoric that has
echoes of fascism that terrify me. We also can't ignore that it was in that
context that Jo Cox was murdered. There is a climate of disrespect towards our
public servants and whilst there are some who have not earned that respect, the
reality is that many have and yet are so often the target of cynical disregard
at best. The many parliamentarians I have met over several years are amongst
the hardest working and committed people I know. They sacrifice time with
family and friends to do work that they are rarely thanked for and are taking
risks with their security that most of us would balk at. Main stream media as
well as social media play their own role in this climate of distrust.
Yes it's
a complex set of circumstance that contributed to the death of a very special
young woman and our world is poorer as a result. So there are no easy solutions
to where we find ourselves. What shaped the person who killed this wonderful
young woman? Extreme views don't evolve from nowhere. The research around
adverse childhood experiences (ACE)
would point to the likelihood of a relevant backstory playing a part as
well as the febrile political context.
I share
the view expressed by Jo Cox sister that there are more good people than not. I
agree that love should be our guide not hate; that compassion not judgement
should shape our decisions and our policies.
I agree
too that we need to ensure that our public servants are safer but would suggest
the most effective way to do that over time is to change the culture in which
they serve; foster a culture that enables them to do their best work on our
behalf and that values and respects equally the contribution of women and men.
I would love to see a culture where positive political campaigning is the norm,
where everyone has the opportunity to contribute and accountability is the
norm.
I know
this world is a kinder place than the recent debate would have us believe, In
this week alone I have witnessed great kindness in the Contact the Elderly
group I volunteer with; volunteers giving their Sunday to not just preventing
social isolation in the vulnerable older people but really bringing love, songs
and laughter into their lives as well. I also experienced huge kindness
personally this week from healthcare staff as well as witnessing great
tenderness too for example from a porter to a frail older person as I awaited
my appointment. As this woeful referendum campaign draws to a welcome close and
we move into whatever context that emerges, I really hope we can drown out the
negativity and make that kind of compassion shape our future. For all our
sakes. I'm immensely grateful that family life has taught me that love will
always outshine hate. To all Dads and
Mums out there who teach their children the same, thank you, you're shaping the
kind of world we will all thrive in.
