Audrey’s Blog on living well with disability and breast cancer

  Tae a lump…. I’m not sure when I noticed you. I do remember thinking I will wait until after Christmas to mention it. But you know that feeing when you have a hole in your tooth or even an ulcer on your tongue, you have to constantly revisit it. As you avoid calling the dentist your tongue tells you how foolish that is. Exploring every tender point at every time you are trying to avoid thinking of it, yet the tongue- the traitor-finds it everytime. Making a mockery of denial, so does my hand. In the shower I check it out, in bed I notice it’s contours, applying my favourite moisturiser I feel it clearly. I’m confused and yet at the same time my heart is sinking in recognition that this is serious.  Of course it is, you cry. But you see I’ve already had breast cancer four times and I have had two mastectomies, one reconstruction and a whole lot of grief since 1994. To be fair most of my diagnoses have been in the last 10 years. Just when I thought I was safe from breast cancer, jus

  January. In a month when you can be anything, be kind! … please When I was a wee girl, I’m told I used to cry at the end of the Christmas holidays. Perhaps I didn’t want to return to school? I don’t remember the reason but I do remember that I didn’t want to holidays to end. I wanted the Christmas/midwinter/Hogmanay celebrations to go on. Was it about Christmas? I did regularly go to church and Sunday school, at that time and admit to being captured by the Christmas story. But I was never the one who got to be Mary in the nativity, I was more of a third donkey type! I loved the carols, the special services, the hope and optimism. They settled around might heart like the tinsel on the tree. They lifted the mundanity of winter in our wee village. And Hogmanay whilst whisky fuelled adults were sometimes unpredictable I savoured the fun, the gatherings ( even parties) and the cheer from visitors and family who too were freed from daily grinds. Winter in Scotland was grey, austere, cold