Audrey’s Blog on living well with disability and breast cancer

  My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther -             Celebrating my daughters Race for Life-a jewel to treasure this week!  I read this quote this week and it made me pause. There is no doubt that music has been an important part of my life. I’m a singer songwriter fan and also very much enjoy those whose voices are the instrument too, not necessarily together as that can be a hard ask! I notice, however, when I’m most stressed and anxious because of life and it’s travails I can’t listen in the same way. Somehow I takes up too much room in my head. Perhaps my brain is too overwhelmed by making sense of things or just getting through each day.  At other times it’s been reading, my usual solace, that has left me. I have found I can’t concentrate or as soon as I dip my eyes I’m asleep but not now thankfully. I’m enjoying every form of reading but I need to be selective. I don’t do sad just now, nor da

  Find the jewels  Find the jewels she said Sometimes they are buried  I thought. And I’ve little energy for hunting.  At times I find myself  storing hurts instead. A missed opportunity,  a song unheard. Too many moments lost in what’s not happened  trying not to long for what has passed.  But the jewels are there  often in full view. A new bird finding the feeder.  The dogs joy at our homecoming. And for this afternoon The gentle snore of the cat permeating the quiet afternoon  light, creating a soothing rhythm.

  A week off chemotherapy helped me have space to fit in a short trip to family in the south Highlands of Scotland. As soon as you arrive the freshness of the air starts to soothe. It’s so valuable to switch off from the tyranny of blood tests, treatment, assessment, endless medication and so on.  For a few days it was beautiful scenery and beautiful people. The pain was-is-still breaking through but less so. I can feel and see the concern on others when I struggle but I can no longer protect them from my worst times as they are too evident. My drugs get increased again and slowly I’ve improved a little. The steroid injection has started to kick in too. My body is less guarded and I’m relaxing a little more. So I’m sleeping-a lot!  The other day after a busy morning on a webinar I spoke at, I snuck upstairs to change into a soft denim look jumpsuit ( like a posh onesie tbh). Getting changed is always a challenge so I rewarded myself with a wee lie down. Several hours later I awakened w