And so it approaches, the end of September and
we're not just heralding the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness but also
October brings an omnipresent pink hue which means it's breast cancer awareness
month. We can wear it pink, buy pink items of clothing, furniture, jewellery
and food even and all to raise awareness of breast cancer. But for all the pink
clamour of October Does it really have the impact it was designed to? I do
wonder if we really serve all those people affected by breast cancer by the
pink wash that October has become. Breast cancer has become a commodity, a way
to sell a product that leaves me at best uncomfortable at worst angry. Don't
let me put you off buying and wearing your support even but do make sure you know
where the money is going.
I notice how reluctant I am to say anything
negative about having had breast cancer. It feels that this month you're only
allowed to be a plucky woman telling your survivor story with a smile. Can
people affected by breast cancer really be served by the pink washing of what
is still a devastating diagnosis, followed by often brutal treatment and yes of
course survival is now so much better but nonetheless it leaves a legacy nobody
would wish for. In a year when I personally have seen two very special women
die in their 50's , I feel very fortunate still to be here, savouring life. But
with each diagnosis and treatment I have lost wellbeing and capacity to take on
life in all it's light and shade.I'm grateful everyday for all I'm still able
to do and enjoy but I'm sad too for what I've lost and for all the days lost to
the grey, emptiness of depression which so often accompanies a cancer
diagnosis.
To be honest you can map my recovery in bras.
Early this year they were grim postoperative white monster bras, to be worn
24/7 to protect the surgery. After that I've tried prettier versions which
though still shapeless, at least weren't the post-op variety. But just this
week I managed to use some lovely gift tokens and get three beautiful new bras.
That feels like a big step forward and I've enjoyed throwing the others away. A
stage at a time, I'm reclaiming myself and that feels good.
I loved the song Tears of a Clown as a
youngster and it's words are resonating
for me just now. So if there's a smile upon my face, it may in part be there to
fool the public as the song goes but it's also real- if still a little fragile
at times. The tears are real ( and yes they are mostly when no one else is
around) too for the people who are no
longer here and for the suffering breast cancer causes to people and their
families. If you want to wear pink of course you should but do also look out
for those you know who are affected by breast cancer in whatever way that is
and hold them close. October for them can be a painful reminder. Put your money
if you can spare it to charities who will invest it wisely and prioritise being
breast aware as shown here at Breast Cancer Now. They estimate that if every woman checked her
breasts regularly we could save 1,500 lives a year. Now that's worth a smile.
A wise older doctor said to me after my first
diagnosis, more than 20 years ago, that there would be better times. And he was
absolutely right. So to all of you who are struggling with the impact of breast
cancer, when the tears are real and important to shed, remember that whatever
happens, there will still be good times and my advice would be to be sure to
really treasure them. I know I do. Like my recent holiday to Rome with the
family, I savour every moment. Here's to more of those times for us all.
