Sunday 20 February 2022

Talking gratitude, storms and shhhh!





Do you know this saying? It says - “life isn’t about waiting for the storms to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain”. Now I admit to liking the odd quote that can tell a truth in verse or image that opens up a new way of thinking. And in this week, post op, the storms have been raging in this part of the world, both real and metaphorical. So it strikes me that not only have some of these actual storms come with a red warning, I’ve also been reminded that dancing is not my strength either. I’m glad no one reminded me of this quote or my reply might have been brief and to the point ( you know, two words, second one….). 

Ten days post op and I’m healing and some pain receding. At times I’ve been able to marvel at the body’s ability to recover and at other times I’m reminded that our bodies are complex ecosystems and one wrong move and the repercussions are widespread. This weeks smorgasbord of symptoms has included severe nerve pain, bladder infection and the old favourite, constipation. 

Some days I think constipation is the worst thing to cope with. I’ve been toying with the idea of setting up a podcast called “Talking shite”.

In Scotland ( and Ireland too I believe)  it’s a riposte to people we think are talking nonsense, occasionally fond but mostly not! And the word shite is an adjective as well as a verb. Now I don’t suggest you try this out in polite society ( !?) or say-at a job interview but in the right context it can be liberating if rude! And some light hearted banter and information about constipation is so needed. It’s the thing no one wants to talk about and yet can make you quite ill, for some it causes acute illness and should never be ignored. So if you live with chronic pain and need to counteract the effects of opioids on the bowel join me in being open about talking shite and don’t be afraid to ask for help! You aren’t alone…

Meanwhile in other storm news, I’ve to have another scan and likely biopsy on something the CT showed. I’m unsure of details but will find out more this week ahead. I’m taking a step at a time and should get all results early March. And the weather based storms have made it pretty hard to dance or even stand up straight so instead I’m reading, doing a little writing and contemplating trying cross stitch. I suspect the afore mentioned adjective may be employed during that process of learning and experiment but I will try to retain my beginners mind of curiosity, not judgement.

In many ways it’s gratitude I feel this week, in spite of the storms, for the kindness and love of family and friends and the many ways they have reached out. It’s hard to express how much it helps, it really does. 

I feel less alone in this storm and that’s getting me and Andrew through. 

With love and thanks to you all. 

Audrey

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