Number one on the fuckit list is….?

 I’ve never been drawn to writing a bucket list. What I’m able to do changes regularly and it would lead to list of cant do’s and a loss of gratitude for what I can do. However I did hear once about a fuckit list. Now that’s worth exploring. 

So I’m thinking of compiling - over time- a list of things that are shoulds which one way or another will burden me at this stage in my life ( or let’s be honest at any stage in my life so far) and I am therefore seeking to ditch, perhaps with a suitable ceremony? 

So far and so at the top of my list is ‘lose weight’. Honestly it’s so ingrained that I still fret about my shape and any extra weight I carry. And that has been the case since I was in my early 40s. It’s such a female thing and although I’ve tackled some major issues in my life, I’ve still held the belief that my value to the world is fundamentally attached to what I weigh. And I’ve always been a wee bit heavier than I’d want to be or that the BMI charts think I should be and so to follow that line of thought, of less value to the world. 

Now even I can see that is clearly distorted thinking and yet I still catch myself judging myself harshly. So if I notice that line of thought I stop and try to see something to approve of instead. And the best thing is, it works and I feel better! So number one on the fuckit list is ‘I only count if I’m thin’………

……."fuck that! and go to the top of the list.