This blog is about my thoughts on my own experience of breast cancer and becoming disabled, on self care, my passion for improving health and healthcare and about heartful leadership in all areas of life.
Tae a lump…. I’m not sure when I noticed you. I do remember thinking I will wait until after Christmas to mention it. But you know that feeing when you have a hole in your tooth or even an ulcer on your tongue, you have to constantly revisit it. As you avoid calling the dentist your tongue tells you how foolish that is. Exploring every tender point at every time you are trying to avoid thinking of it, yet the tongue- the traitor-finds it everytime. Making a mockery of denial, so does my hand. In the shower I check it out, in bed I notice it’s contours, applying my favourite moisturiser I feel it clearly. I’m confused and yet at the same time my heart is sinking in recognition that this is serious. Of course it is, you cry. But you see I’ve already had breast cancer four times and I have had two mastectomies, one reconstruction and a whole lot of grief since 1994. To be fair most of my diagnoses have been in the last 10 years. Just when I thought I was safe from breast cancer, jus
Recently our grandson had to come home from nursery early. He’d had vaccinations and h temperature was up. He announced as he walked back in the door….”I’m ok, I’m just a wee bit wabbit.” My heart melted with this announcement. Partly because wabbit spoke to how I feel too -the perfect word. As well as delight at his use of the Scot’s word. It was the reminder too of how Scots permeates our day to day language and how uplifting ( and very cute) it was to hear him use it. We’re a land of many languages- reflecting the many influences on our island nation. He may even learn Gaelic in the future, it’s a language taught in his future school, something I could never even have contemplated for my children or for me as a child. In a time when we are seeing a sovereign nation ( Ukraine) being violently invaded by Russia, ripping out it’s very core , its made me grieve deeply for the people and it’s touched that Scots part of me that feels an affinity to a country that was finding its feet a
The Kingdom of the Sick Well it’s official, I have another cancer in my left ( reconstructed breast). I’m still taking exemestane and having regular zometa infusions to help prevent the return of the cancer but nonetheless I’m back to hospital on Thursday 10 February for a wide local excision. So I left the breast clinic with a pen drawing on my boob of the planned excision and trying to puzzle that this time the tumour is triple negative this time. This means none of the hormone based treatments or herceptin work to treat or prevent the triple negative tumours. It’s complex to understand but for more information see https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/diagnosed-breast-cancer/primary-breast-cancer/triple-negative-breast-cancer My bone scan was clear which was good news and I get the CT for an all over check up, on Wednesday. It’s the day before the operation but at least there will be some preliminary results. So this week is busy. As I was plann