Audrey Birt's breast cancer blog: Yes we CAN!

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Audrey Birt's breast cancer blog: Yes we CAN!: Right now I am propped up by four pillows and tapping on my iPad. Enforced bed rest to enable me to get my breath back literally means I am ...

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When people don’t understand the impact of pain-it hurts.

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                                                                     The Mood Moose  Who knew how good a pain killer Naproxen is? Take note but protect your stomach! I’ve been on it since the start of the spinal growth caused me pain. It helped. So much so it was a while, until I started to lose power and mobility I realised I might need more help. Since then my cocktail of drugs has changed and varied but naproxen maintained. When I was told to stop it as I started chemotherapy ( I didn’t know till the day before) I thought ok some tweaks of other things and I might me ok? I talked to a GP, we made a plan. The steroid holiday got me through the first day and a bit, by Sunday I was whimpering in pain by the evening, during the night and first thing in the morning. Monday morning came I contacted the GP. We topped up pregabalin and I asked re topical gels. Ask oncology- they told me to ask GP-. I asked the pharmacist-they told me to ask oncology. Wednesday I asked oncology, explaining m
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Tae a lump

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  Tae a lump…. I’m not sure when I noticed you. I do remember thinking I will wait until after Christmas to mention it. But you know that feeing when you have a hole in your tooth or even an ulcer on your tongue, you have to constantly revisit it. As you avoid calling the dentist your tongue tells you how foolish that is. Exploring every tender point at every time you are trying to avoid thinking of it, yet the tongue- the traitor-finds it everytime. Making a mockery of denial, so does my hand. In the shower I check it out, in bed I notice it’s contours, applying my favourite moisturiser I feel it clearly. I’m confused and yet at the same time my heart is sinking in recognition that this is serious.  Of course it is, you cry. But you see I’ve already had breast cancer four times and I have had two mastectomies, one reconstruction and a whole lot of grief since 1994. To be fair most of my diagnoses have been in the last 10 years. Just when I thought I was safe from breast cancer, jus
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Wabbit and crabbit…

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  Recently our grandson had to come home from nursery early. He’d had vaccinations and h temperature was up. He announced as he walked back in the door….”I’m ok, I’m just a wee bit wabbit.” My heart melted with this announcement. Partly because wabbit spoke to how I feel too -the perfect word. As well as delight at his use of the Scot’s word. It was the reminder too of how Scots permeates our day to day language and how uplifting ( and very cute) it was to hear him use it. We’re a land of many languages- reflecting the many influences on our island nation. He may even learn Gaelic in the future, it’s a language taught in his future school, something I could never even have contemplated for my children or for me as a child.  In a time when we are seeing a sovereign nation ( Ukraine) being violently invaded by Russia, ripping out it’s very core , its made me grieve deeply for the people and it’s touched that Scots part of me that feels an affinity to a country that was finding its feet a
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