The experience of kindness
It’s the time of year when amongst the stress of shopping and planning and paying for Christmas, there are the lights, the music and the kindness that make midwinter exceptional. My ability to enjoy this time is dependent on my ability to balance these polarities. I started to speak about my Mum recently who died five years ago and suddenly the seal on my emotions burst and the tears came. They were tears of loss which were unsurprising but beneath that was so much more. And generally it’s packed away at the back ot the wardrobe, never to be examined. Well at least not with an audience. I’m a proponent of the talking cures but maybe a wee bit guilty of not always engaging with it myself.
As regular readers know it’s been a hard year. Two lots of surgery and a course of chemotherapy. And it’s the year my cancer moved from curable to hopefully manageable. A gentle way to say it’s stage four as the cancer has spread from my breast to my liver. It’s not large and is not giving me symptoms but I’m in the world of crucial scans and breath held as you wait for results. Early January is the next big one and I’m a bit scared. There I’ve said it. But I’m not going to focus on it over the festive season. Christmas is busy, fun and poignant too. Our Ukrainian friends have become part of the family, as this time has confirmed. They enrich our lives but we are very aware of the challenges that are back home and the mixture of feelings that accompany sharing in the happiness of our Christmas.
The world feels such a difficult place this year in particular with Russia’s attack on Ukraine, the poverty worsened by global effects as well as political decisions closer to home and the evident suffering across the UK. But it’s been important to celebrate all we have and all we are with the people we love. And in the midst of the despair for some there is kindness that makes every day better.
I’m reminded of the carers who help me on weekday mornings. Not only have they shown me care and kindness, they’ve become dear friends too. And the special family who help us in the house garden and even the animals are a precious part of our lives who brighten the day and week.
We’re so grateful to all of you who have helped us this year, especially our family, friends old and new and all the health and social care services that I /we engage with now. In an NHS and social care system that is under enormous pressure we have met skill, compassion and a timely service when needed. Maybe I’m just lucky ( :0) or maybe many services are often much better than headlines would have us believe. Don’t get me wrong we definitely need more investment in health care and social care, including paying them better. But it’s important too to recognise and give thanks to where it works well.
So I want to end this blog as 2022 closes too, saying thank you to everyone who has touched our lives this year. You’ve made it special and helped us be able to look forward with some hope into 2023.
Wishing you all a very happy festive season and may 2023 bring you all kindness in its many forms💕.
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